Confessions of a Credit Card Junkie

I cut four credit cards today. I kept one - the one with the lowest interest rate - just in case. In case of what, I don’t know.

As I put that card back into my wallet, it hit me - I am a credit card addict.

In a previous post I mentioned that I accepted an offer to consolidate all of my outstanding credit card debt at 5.99%. Yesterday, all of the payoffs came through on my existing cards. Today, I got a shiny new credit card in the mail - it gave me access to the $25,000 credit line that came with my consolidation loan. I proceeded to cut it up immediately (the rate on purchases is 11.99%, 4% higher than my existing Chase card).

It is such a relief to see all of that high-interest rate debt wiped out. Never mind the fact that it’s just been refinanced. I can’t wait until the day that it’s legitimate, and I’ve paid off all $17,000+ of that revolving debt in full.

Which brings me back to that one remaining credit card. I don’t know why I think I need to keep it. I have $1600 plus change in my wedding fund - I could tap into that in case of an emergency. I have proven to myself that I can’t be trusted with plastic buying power. Why keep what is clearly one of my great weaknesses available?

Here is the story I am telling myself: I am keeping the card in case something catastrophic happens to me or a loved one and I need to have immediate access to $4000. But to be completely honest, there is an underlying subtext that I don’t want to own up to (but for the sake of my reader - not a typo - I will).

The truth is that I’m afraid that I will regret of not having that credit available more than I fear the bottomless pit that is unsecured debt. I don’t believe that the $326 in my bank account will be enough to get me to the next payday. What if I find the perfect Christmas gift for my mom tomorrow and it just happens to be $150? Will I have enough money for gas and groceries next week? What if I am admitted to the hospital for some reason (I have already tapped out my health flex account this year)? Logically, I know that these are just excuses and I need to pull the trigger (or snip the scissors, as the case may be) and cut up that card, but I can’t bring myself to do it.